Notes to Self

I have a very well written friend who brilliantly rehashes her Adventures in Motherhood.
She's funny.
She's sweet.
And, man oh man, she LOVES her beautiful boys!

I read her blog and wonder, "Gee...I sure wish I could write like that."
Or...
"Gee....I sure wish I could have things to report on in a creative way."

Therefore, it's come down to good ol' plagarizing.

Every now and then my friend will list a bunch of "lessons" she's learned along her journey of being a fabulous mom. Sometimes the lessons are sweet and sappy. But sometimes the lessons are freaking hilarious.
I'm talkin' slap-your-knee/milk-coming-out-of-your-nose hilarious.
She ties one into the previous ones and it turns into a list of "no way could that really happen to one person."
BRILLIANT!

Therefore, I'm copying her method and format.
Please forgive me. By no means am I going to attempt her humor because.....well, I'm just not that funny.

Notes to self:
1. For baby #2, introduce milk at one year of age in a sippy cup. No bottles. Don't even teach the word "bottle."

2. If baby #2 becomes addicted to the bottle (much like baby #1), rip the band-aid over a weekend. No bottles. None. No matter what Daddy says.

3. When dealing with the above issues, don't worry about constipation or dehydration. Ms. Jenny will fix those little things on Monday at day care.

4. If we decide to ever move bedrooms again for the kids and the safety gate at the top of the stairs has to be taken down, I should keep an eye on the toddlers just in case one decides to go down with her blankie, stop, turn around to take a look and trip and tumble down the rest of the way.

5. After #4 happens, it might be a good idea to keep an extra eye out if that same toddler approaches the stairs from the other end and wants to take a "big girl" step up. You wouldn't want her to not make the step and fall face first into the only spot missing carpet (thank you, Bear) and bust her lip open. This is key, especially if you want to keep it from happening within 30 minutes of #4.

6. Also when transitioning bedrooms, maybe don't decide to make the first night in a new room on a Sunday when you have to go to work on Monday.

7. If it smells like poo, it probably is poo. Even if it doesn't necessarily look like poo. When the decision is made to take off a questionably smelly diaper while the toddler is standing up, don't be surprised to find poo and don't get too upset when the said toddler makes that the time to come straddle your panted leg to snuggle.

8. Perhaps I should re-evaluate myself as a mother if all of the above take place within 72 hours.