To find out or not find out....

John wants to know. I never wanted to know. I mean, how many true surprises are there left in life? I always dreamed of having the doctor deliver me and saying, "Congratulations! It's a .....!" In the olden days, our parents didn't have a choice. They never had the chance to look inside with ultrasounds......they got the surprise of a lifetime! I wanted to have this experience but John didn't. What is the compromise? Him to find out and not me? Yeah, right. That guy can't keep a secret if his life depended on it. Me give in to what I've always held on to? That didn't sound like a good option either.
Then I started thinking..... I know myself. I know myself well. I'm guilty of loving this generation of instant gratification. Knowing the gender is available. How could I NOT know? It's such a struggle.

ps We're having a girl!!!